Life is hard.. but... stil have to go on..

suddenly feel like posting something on my blog...

i wonder why on earth the people need to suffer so hard to live on..

till now.. i haven get an exact answer cause i m stil suffering from something which is not under my control..

haiz.. wat a pitiful life.. i wish i could do my best to make my life more live more lively and cheerish with the efforts i have put in..

erm.. i realised that i oni blog all my unhappy moments... i seldom blog on my happy life..

mayb i thinki blog is one of the way for me to release my stress and unhappiness.. wel, i do hav happy events goin on my life...

i was sick for few days.. tot myself goin to die soon cos.. H1N1.. but... i m not having tat.. y m i so happy abt getting ill? haha.. cos it's the oni way that i can slim down.. i dunno y n how can i slim down besides that.. i've tried to exercise but seems the effect is not tat clearly seen.. however, wen ni sick for few days, i can c myself slim down very fast.. ehem... lolz.. of cos after increase weight oso faster than b4.. lol.. hopefully this time i can control myself abit.. cos i dun wish 2 disappoint some1 who always meet me but did realised that i have pun in effort to slim down.. how sad is this case u know..

i was thinking shud i join the community services this time cos i feel myself din give much commitment to my group as i m working and the timing is not right for me to meet them up and help out in any activities.. haiz... if i join.. i feel bad.. cos din help out much stil can join.. if i din join.. i oso feel bad cos my leader has work out so many things for me.. din blame me din help out.. give me chances to go.. erm.. dunno la.. i oso dunno wat shud i do?

1 of my fren did propose a pose for me in a club.. i hav reject it due to i scared i can't give much commitment for that.. as usual.. i'll have tons of excuses when activities are on.. therefore, i dun feel like i can take up the responsibility to do the best for the pose that are proposed by my fren.. so.. reject and b a volunteer is the best choice i can think of.. it wouldn't hurt me or others..

my relationship.. ermm.. seems like normal.. stable.. n.. happy.. altho i cant help much in his life.. but.. sooner.. i wish i can do sth for him.. at least he can feels that how much i love him.. den tat's enuf..

well, as i said in my title.. life is hard.. but... i still have to go on... this is LIFE..

night ^^