Jz A Post..

WOW.. long time din blog..

well, i'm not a regular blogger.. altho.. i wished to blog always.. but.. lots of workload in hand till i no time to blog.. (actually it's jz an excuse for my laziness)

today i view my fren's blog. Wow.. in two months time.. lots of things happened.. and i found out that her mom fall down.. erm.. wat came into my head that moment is.. i want to pay her mummy a visit.. but.. dunno leh.. feel weird.. cos.. mayb i m still not that closed with them.. but.. i really feel like goin 2 pay her a visit.. cos during my frens still here.. auntie did treat me well too.. mayb tmr buy some fruits and pay her a visit.. hopefully it wun give her any troubles..

i viewed my sis's blog too.. well, i really think that my sis is more mature than me.. in some case.. from wat she wrote on her blog.. i can c that she is really facing lots of problems that she can't share wif any of us.. so.. she prefer 2 blog on net n express out her feeling..

as i've learnt from the human personality course.. according to Adler's Birth Order, the youngest child is always the pet of the family.. He/She always aim for high achivements.. but..not my sister.. i think she did not want high achievement cos she really feel very tired of being compared with her outstanding sibling (except me). She is more in oppsosite side of the youngest child's personality: the helplessness and dependency type.. her attitudes really give me a sense of that.. haiz..

ytd, a psychiatric in US Army shot 13 armies.. the 1st thing that crossed in my mind is.. will psychology have a bright future den?? will the company do not want to hire me cos i m a psychology degree holder? haha.. think to much again.. my dad n mom more over, they asked me to stop this course as they dun want me to be in the mental hospital 1 days.. *piu**swt..

i've sick for 3 days.. but now recovered.. in that 3 days.. headache, vomit, stomach pain, etc.. u name it.. i got it.. haiz.. i did not eat well that 3 days too.. cos.. no appetite.. the reasons i tot of y will i fall sick:

1. stress

2. sad

3. stand too much and no air circulation during experiment

4. did not have lunch

5. going to sick

at the end, i still dunno y m i sick.. shudb a combinations of the reasons that i can think of.. lol..

recently, my life is so peaceful.. cos TS did not really chat much with me.. mayb cos last month i did hang his call once den he do not want to bother abt me.. even i sick.. he dun even.. haiz.. nvm.. it's over.. i do not keep it in heart..

i know that recently TS is very bz wif his assignments and finals.. he stay till the wee hour to study at Uni.. got 1 night, i can't get him 2 answer my call, i tot wat had happened to him as it's already midnight 1:30am.. by that time he shud have b home.. but.. i din get any msg or cal from him.. so i keep on calling.. till...1:45 oni he take up the cal n said he silent his fon.. i know i shud x blame him.. but i really very scared that moment.. once he pick up the cal.. i m so thankful to the god that he's safely arrived home.. but.. he mayb dunno how worried i m.. nvm.. he's jz bz wif his stuff till he oso blur blur..

on 1 lecture when the lecturer sharing her story wif us.. she mentioned that, we need to bear with your lover no matter how he/she behave.. 2 ppl live tgt must have TOLERANCE.. i once forgot this word and tot of breaking up cos some small issues.. but.. after that lecture.. i tot of the word again and i make the step 2 tolerate.. i have really forgot this word.. as i myself oso bz wif my heavy workloads.. thanks to my leacturer who shares her story wif me.. and... it made me realized that i shud have b more tolerate to TS..

okie.. time for assignments...

Jiayou pika!! Jiayou TS!!

一個人生活&兩個人生活

一個人生活&兩個人生活 = 兩個自由的人因愛結合而產生的所謂『摩擦』

星期日，一覺睡到下午2 點還不願起床，我在旁邊叫喚他。
「起床了好不好？我們出去走走，去吃東西。」N遍之後，他仍在睡。
我下樓去，走到公園時，打了他手機，我想，這下，他不得不起床了吧？
響了好幾聲，他終於接了電話，只是他告訴我的是：「妳讓我過我自己想過的生活好不好？」

突然間，我不知該如何回應，倖倖然掛上電話後，一個人坐在公園裡，有點茫然有點不知所措，那麼我自己的生活又是什麼呢？
一個人的時候過自己的生活，兩個人的時候也各自過生活？？
肚子餓了是唯一明確的方向，我漫步到肯德雞，點了餐，端了餐盤往樓上走，三三兩兩的人群，小孩的吵鬧聲在我耳邊沸騰著，我沒有感覺到煩燥，反而覺得這種人氣很好，我安靜的吃我的炸雞看我的報紙，四週喧嚷的小孩聲壓過了我心裡悲傷的低鳴聲，近日來，就情緒上來說，我並不太快樂，我需要注入一些快樂的聲音在我的心房。

一個小時後，我離開肯德基並外帶了一份餐，在往回家路上走著時，我重新思考著過自己生活的事情，我可以當作我是一個人生活，一個吃飽一個人散步一個人回家去嗎？？

我不會，也不行，我可以一個人吃飯、一個人散步，可是我不會忘了要買一份食物給在家裡的家人，一個人的生活裡其實包含了兩個人。
婚姻裡，有一個很難的部份就是，你不明白什麼時候該一個人，什麼時候又該兩個人？
而女人卻會自然而然的照料跟妳一起生活的人，也許妳照顧不了他的心情，可是妳會顧及他的溫飽。
想著想著，就走到了家門口，我站在門口，有鑰匙卻沒有開門，我按了門鈴，他開了門....
「先生，請問你有沒有叫肯德基外帶全家餐？」我站在門口對他說。
他對我笑而不答。「沒有嗎？我送錯了啊？？」我笑。
他把東西接過手，牽著我的手進了家門。

晚上，他居然帶我去逛了夜市耶，這是一件非常難得的事，因為他超討厭逛夜市，而且，他很有耐心陪我一條一條的逛著，臉上沒有一絲不耐煩。
我想，他明白這是 ------我一個人生活時愛做的事，二個人生活時也希望可以做的事。

如果相遇，你會感到相知，那麼，有一種習慣 ─叫做陪伴。

如果陪伴，你會感到珍惜，那麼，有一種甜蜜 ─叫做存在。
如果存在，你會感到壓力，那麼，有一種善良 ─叫做 離開。
如果離開，你會感到輕鬆，那麼，有一種勇敢 ─ 叫做放棄。

忙的時候，想要休息； 渡假的時候，想到未來。
窮的時候，渴望富有；生活安逸了，怕幸福不能長久。
決定的時候，擔心結果不如預期；
看明白了，後悔當初沒有下定決心
不屬於自己的，常常心存慾望；
握在手裡了，又懷念未擁有前的輕鬆
「生命若不是現在，那是何時？」

*=~+*=~+*=~+*=~+*=~+*=~+*=~+*=~+*=~+*=~+*=~+*=~+**=~+*=~+*=~+*=~+*=~+
珍惜現在的友誼,珍惜你所愛的人.因為，很可能在下一秒鐘這些都將不復存，不要只留下自己為沒有珍惜過嘆息，為沒有珍惜過而生自己的氣.因為那為時已晚....

~~~Pauline Chia ~~~

I find this piece of words tell out how I feel recently.. Maybe we should really know what we want and.. What both of us want in order to start a new relationship.. but of cos.. you can't find out until u start a relationship.. So, I'll look forward for the day where TS will say,"I am willing to be with you forever"....................

A 'sui' (aka bad) day :(

WaT a StUpId DaY tOdAy..

I have bank in my resource fees for 2nd year.. n yet.. When i checked my school account.. stated there that i haven settle wif the payment.. make me so angry and anxious.. haiz.. i tot straight away bank in den need not have ay follow up on tat.. WHO KNOWS!!!! i stil need to go 2 the bursary to collect my receipt only consider i already banked in the money!!! haiz.. den what for i bank in the money leh? i might as well straight away pay cash for that.. so gek si me..

This is not that worse.. my hp has expired and i can't make any call out.. so i need to call to HELP to double confirm with this.. i use skol's public phone.. n it cheated my money!!! sob sob.. altho just a 50 cents but.. it means alot to me nowadays as i dun really have much money for my daily expenses.. haiz.. suai la... stupid fon.. eat my money!!!!!

After made the call, i went into the toilet.. n i have forgotten that the 1st basin is spoilt.. i on the tap n the water split all over my clothes.. STUPID!!! why all this stupid stuff happened to me continuously? gek si me la...

After that, i go to class.. my children are having exam this week.. it's their last paper during my period.. after i've collected the exam papers.. i ask them to pass up their workbook as the assistant headmaster(AH) need to check their works.. wen they passed up.. oni i realised that i have 7 pages did not mark.. OMG.. headache.. i ask them to quickly hand in so that i can mark n hand it to the AH.. luckily i still manage to finish mark their works.. but.. AH said have to wait all passed up oni check.. SWT... i rushing so hard to let her check.. who knows...

4 students did not bring.. so have to wait Monday they pass up, finish my marking only send to AH... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.... why la.. why this happen to me?

Next.. one of my student told me that she has lost her electronic dictionary.. she put it in the drawer before recess.. haiz.. how am i going to find in the very last 5 minutes? i asked my monitors to help out.. but they did not get any... haiz.. i have warm that girl not to bring expensive stuff to skol.. she dun listen.. wat can i do? I also ask her to keep her own properties properly.. haiz.. i trust my children will not take.. but.. where has it been? OMG... why this happen 2 me again? i've reported to AH.. her comment is: 'children nowadays are very smart, after they steal, they'll not put into their bag. they'll hide it somewhere and go to get it after class. quite make sense oso.. how come i never tot of that? OMG.. what have the movies teach them? how come nowadays the children's m ind so complicated? haiz..

Okie la.. i think i enuf 'sui' this 2 days.. 2days before met accident.. luckily is ok.. not pretty much hurt.. den today happen all these... haiz..

Wish tmr will be a better day la.. got dinner at shangarila hotel.. i did not buy any dress.. just wear the 1 i wore b4..

okie.. i need 2 rest le.. tmr got tuition..shhuuu shhuuu all the 'sui qi'.. night ^^

:( sui day for pika, aLiCe..

Learn to treat things happen around as they r normal ^^

raining early in the morning..

so mood oso x tat good lo.. lolz.. emo..

get up aroung 6:45am.. tot 1 2 help dad fill in medicine.. who knows.. he already go out le.. hav 2 cal him 2 come bec take the medicine.. haiz.. my careless.. shud keep tat ytd.. but.. was too tired le.. after fetch sis from her skol, once reach home, i straight away sleep le..

erm.. aft tat, teach tuition til 10:45am..

haiz.. need 2 prepare exam papers.. the previous 1 that i have donw have totally rejected by the teacher who r checking it.. sob.. need 2 re-do all over again.. nvm la.. i oso dun wish my kids fail it.. lol.. so will make it easier than the rejected version..

dunno y heart feel weird weird de.. like sth blocking.. seems like lots of problem that i can't solve..

1. study - money

2. family

3. friendship

4. relationship - so far so good ^^

5. period.. coming soon

hmph.. luckily the 1st problem is already settle half way. thanks for those who lending me a hand for that... thanks yc ^^ i truly appreciate wat u have done to me.. thank you..

one of my fren gave me a formula 2 summarise my feeling:

period + moon gravity + emotion..... = bad mood

he said: if minus out the "emotion" then u will be happy as usual again.

mayb i really think too much as wat ts said.. haiz.. but.. human being will think non-stop.. unless the second he/she died..

isn't it true? i dunno..

went to celebrate my cousin's 21st burfday ytd.. she got lots of presents.. so envy her.. haha.. cos i also love receiving presents instead of MONEY.. i always got money instead of presents.. so.. feel that if i receive so mnay presents.. i'll surely b very happy... n headache too.. cos dunno wer shud i put those presents.. i have few boxes of present that gave by my students and friends last time.. haha.. but.. i stil love to receive presents.. i guess is normal for every1.. psychologically.. am i right?

burfday, wedding, etc is an event that gather ppl.. v can meet out long lost friends.. relatives that only met once a year ( during CNY) lol.. etc.. ytd one of my relative ask me.. when is my turn.. haha.. i was shocked wif her words.. cos.. at 1st i tot she asked wen is my turn 2 get married.. haha.. she asked when i'll celebrate my 21st... lolz.. erm.. i din celebrate la actually.. jz have dinner with my family. I oso planned to celebrate b4.. but.. due to lots of circumstaces, i didn't do so.. erm.. quite sad oso.. but.. nvm la.. over le.. i m now 22.. so.. no matter got celebrate or not.. life stil hav 2 go on.. lolz.. no big deal!!

my anniversary wif ts'll coming soon.. 23 more days to go.. as he's starting his uni life soon, i guess we'll x celebrate it so soon.. anyway, that hour will b our bz hour.. so.. can't go 2 find each others so soon.. i guess.. unless.. haha.. x unless.. shud b lidat la..

erm.. okie la.. start 2 do my work la.. go go gambate!!

^^ hav a nice day everyone!!

unusual day..

Dear blog..

erm.. recently feel like writing out my feeling.. so.. i write lo...

haiz.. got a feel n weird feeling.. realised that some1 din really 1 2 talk 2 me.. dunno y.. haiz.. n dunno how 2 find out.. so.. jz wait lo.. haiz.. sad case..

darling is moving 2 new room.. abu neh neh landlord.. hopefully this 3 years everthing will b fine la.. cos.. seriously.. i dun trust indian.. mayb phorbia.. but since my darlnig said the landlord is nice.. so.. i have nth 2 say oso la.. cos he has already very fan for this.. n y et.. i can't help out anything.. haiz.. wat a useless gf i m .. haiz..

new sem will b my 2nd year le.. that's when the HGPA will b count.. haiz.. so worry la.. din get 1st class oso no confident to get 2nd upper.. cos the standard is kinda high in HELP.. for my level la.. but.. i'll try my best to do my best!!! jiayou ba.. oso .. jiayou ba my darling.. wish u all the best in ur new environment!!!

erm.. was chatting wif my ex colleague.. he said.. if according to lunar calendar, gal is more emo during full moon.. err.. seriously this was my 1st time heard.. but.. mayb lo.. haha.. mayb period cuming soon oso la.. lol.. cos pimples r out le.. lolz.. make sense? swt.. wat m i toking abt? haha..

hehe.. dunno darling gto read my blog or not leh? guess dun hav la.. cos i oso send him mail everyday.. like blog oso.. haha.. but.. i really wish he got read sometimes.. sometimes oso dun wish he read.. wen i m really emo n got talk abt his bads :p haha.. seldom la.. mayb got la.. dun angry oh if u saw this, ts..

well well well... time 2 prepare exam paper la.. fast fast fin n dun need 2 bother abt it anymore la.. wat la.. as a replacement teacher oso need 2 prepare exam paper.. haiz.. but.. haha.. working here is more relax than the previous skol.. cos.. i dun need 2 bring bac book to mark.. lolz.. time more free.. lol.. too bad.. wen think of skol reopen need 2 skip 2 weeks class for teach.. haiz.. feel so bad.. but wat 2 do? need 2 earn money for my next sem's tuition fees.. haiz.. hopefully can catch up la.. wif all my fren's help.. headache.. stil dunno how much i'll get for my salary.. haiz.. so cham...

okie la.. to be continue next time..

bye bye..

Life is hard.. but... stil have to go on..

suddenly feel like posting something on my blog...

i wonder why on earth the people need to suffer so hard to live on..

till now.. i haven get an exact answer cause i m stil suffering from something which is not under my control..

haiz.. wat a pitiful life.. i wish i could do my best to make my life more live more lively and cheerish with the efforts i have put in..

erm.. i realised that i oni blog all my unhappy moments... i seldom blog on my happy life..

mayb i thinki blog is one of the way for me to release my stress and unhappiness.. wel, i do hav happy events goin on my life...

i was sick for few days.. tot myself goin to die soon cos.. H1N1.. but... i m not having tat.. y m i so happy abt getting ill? haha.. cos it's the oni way that i can slim down.. i dunno y n how can i slim down besides that.. i've tried to exercise but seems the effect is not tat clearly seen.. however, wen ni sick for few days, i can c myself slim down very fast.. ehem... lolz.. of cos after increase weight oso faster than b4.. lol.. hopefully this time i can control myself abit.. cos i dun wish 2 disappoint some1 who always meet me but did realised that i have pun in effort to slim down.. how sad is this case u know..

i was thinking shud i join the community services this time cos i feel myself din give much commitment to my group as i m working and the timing is not right for me to meet them up and help out in any activities.. haiz... if i join.. i feel bad.. cos din help out much stil can join.. if i din join.. i oso feel bad cos my leader has work out so many things for me.. din blame me din help out.. give me chances to go.. erm.. dunno la.. i oso dunno wat shud i do?

1 of my fren did propose a pose for me in a club.. i hav reject it due to i scared i can't give much commitment for that.. as usual.. i'll have tons of excuses when activities are on.. therefore, i dun feel like i can take up the responsibility to do the best for the pose that are proposed by my fren.. so.. reject and b a volunteer is the best choice i can think of.. it wouldn't hurt me or others..

my relationship.. ermm.. seems like normal.. stable.. n.. happy.. altho i cant help much in his life.. but.. sooner.. i wish i can do sth for him.. at least he can feels that how much i love him.. den tat's enuf..

well, as i said in my title.. life is hard.. but... i still have to go on... this is LIFE..

night ^^

Day by day, Week by week, Month by month, Year by year

Dear blog...

It has been a long time i din update you.. So sorry for the delay...

well, abt my title.. day by day... week by week.. month by month.. year by year..

as time goes by... many thing has changed.. people have change.. enviroment has change.. etc.

Health for me is very important now as i do not wish any of my loves one suffer from the illness devil. It's suffering looking them hav to take a huge quantities of medicine n suffer the pain.. 

haiz.. as for the one who not beside me.. i wish he can take good care of himself.. do not get hurt always..

Msg for myself : Must take good care cos lots of ppl waiting for me to take care of.. i kenot fall sick or ill...

this year burfday is a great surprise to me..

1st ly, i got a big delivery from Teck Seng.. He come to visit me and pass me the present on the exact day. I feel so hapiness to have him celebrate with me ^^

2nd ly, i got nice presents from TS, hanying, my tuition kids and my gang.. they are owesome to me.. altho some of them are for decoration.. lol..

3rd, got extra 10cent from my dad.. lol..

well, actually i dun mind dun hav any present.. ( altho i wished to have presents la..) as long as all my love 1 happy and healthy.. i'll be happy le

 ^^

time to bed!!

to be continue............

sad case

ytd was a bad day for me...

i feel very reckless of being in a gang that keep secret between one another. i tot 1 gang should b open and share tgt. these symtoms i have realised since the begining of the semester, i feel kinda sad for the changes in between my gang. 

i really kenot stand for those who do not responsible to themselve n others. i feel suffer having such ppl in a group. the last semester every1 was fine and can cope with each other well, after a period of time, i found out that every1 is not like was i tot. i really cant understand n intepret their mind, therefore i choose to give up n dun k anymore abt tat.

beside having an irresponsible person in my group, i oso found out that some1 who are like commanding others. the some1 oni think that wat has been done is correct n reject others suggestion or even dun even discuss with others. as a group, i think others also realise this,  jz tat cos v r frenz, therefore, v don't want to point out tat.. so that v can maintain the relationship..

some1 told me that our gang from a big group had gone into a pair up group.. i do feel it since the begining of the semester. well, the feeling of being paired up is not good as from the begining, i really think that my group wil last til i graduate, i have 2 change my mindset on tat now..

i jz dunno what's wrong wif my gang, i can feel that everythingis different now and our freindship seems goin to burst out in a seconds. i m very apprecitate of having a group of frens but now i really dunno wat can i say abt it.

mayb it's my prob as i always think that the prob is on me... but.. this time i do feel tat there are sth misunderstanding flow in between my gang and no1 point it out.

well, i think i m gonna stop here or else my tears will flow like a tap.. 

all the best to every1 in ur final!!

hoping tat there is a solution to solve this.. 

New Year New Start..

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Well, at the begining i was very happy with this new year because of a new start. I also feel sad of my 2 family member, eldest brother and his. Both of them make me feel that I am not part of the Chua's family. Nevermind, I'll not mind what they said as all are non-sense. They thought they are god and can control everything, maybe it's useful for other people but NOT me.. Definately.. What they had did recently make me disagree with them. Since our family added in one more new member, although it is a good thing but I do feel many changes has happened.. The new member like trying to rule in this home... Although she has the power to do so because this are their house. They must be wished that they can have their own place, without ME... They even trust other people more than trusting me.. I'm totally disappointed with them.. Nevermind.. I tell myself that I will study hard for this 3 years.. Then I'll give my parents and sister a warmer home. And not to be left out, my boyfriend, Teckseng who had been supporting me these 3 years. Ok. Stop all the unhappiness here.

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A brand new year with a brand new wish...

I wish that I can fulfill all the dreams that I wished this year... esp, my study, parents' health, my relationship, etc.

Am I too greedy?

That's what I wished always...

hehe..

Studying psychology isn't hard but it isn't easy too...

I believed that with determination, all my dreams can come true!!!

looking forward for next week as time to study again..

gambate Alice!! You can do it!! So do all who have a dream.. wishing u all dreams come true!!!

H.A.P.P.Y. 2009 Y.E.A.R.